I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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