It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this will be a night to untag.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
