I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
