I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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