My first STD was from a foam party
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
