I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
