This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
