We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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