i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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