well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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