All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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