I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
