I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know her cup size but not her name....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
