I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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