Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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