Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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