the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
