I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I love you. Go after that dick
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
