i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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