Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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