That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
