Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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