its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
