Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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