I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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