I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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