Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
