MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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