One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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