When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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