"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
where am i from again
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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