Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
