So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
