So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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