Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
