Redeem this text for a blowjob
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
