yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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