just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
