glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
