it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
