Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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