It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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