I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
