So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
