Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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