Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Green mimosas i think yes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize