how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
did you just send me my own nude
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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