That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
