please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
