Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
