1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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