We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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