How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
