But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
