And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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