operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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