there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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