did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
someone owes me an orgasm
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
