Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
