i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
