This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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