Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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