They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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