i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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