VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
