whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
