You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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