I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
