can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
