I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
