I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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