just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
