Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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